blueberrymuffinn!,

Lifee.(:

2011-06-12T16:35:00.000-07:00

"Take chances. Tell the truth. Date someone totally wrong for you. Say no. Spend all your cash. Get to know someone random. Be random. Say I love you. Sing out loud. Laugh at stupid jokes. Cry. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Tell a jerk what you think. Laugh until your stomach hurts. Live life. Regret nothing." <3

I live by this quote. Every single day. You can, too. [:

Being Happy,[:

2011-06-11T16:13:00.000-07:00

Just a few days ago, I lost my bestfriend. I had to end our friendship, because of personal reasons. Sometimes I miss her but I knew that I had to do it. It's for the best. I have to do what will make me happy. Not what will make other people happy. I have to focus on me. And I'm very glad I made the decision I made. I realized that I have so many people. So many. That care about me so much. But my bestfriend didn't care. She only cared about herself, sorry to say. I've known her for a long time. I should've made the decision earlier. But everything I needed to do, to make myself a happier person, was right in front of me. This whole time. I'm so happy now.(: Do everything you can to make yourself happy. It's worth it in the end. <3

Till The World Ends.

2011-06-05T19:51:00.000-07:00

There's always that one person. Who's there with you through everything. For me, this person was Kaitlen. She is one of my sisters. My bestfriend. She's the apple to my pie, the straw to my berry, & she's the sparkles to my arts and crafts.:D. I love her in every way. She stuck up for me. To anyone. Who talked crap about me. But most of all, she made me believe. That I wouldn't be sad forever. She made me so much stronger. I don't know where I would be without her. I know that whenever I'm feeling down, she's only one short text away. Her personality automatically brightens anyone up that's around her. And she's been by my side through things that my other friends left me for. And I couldn't be more grateful for that. She picked me back up when I fell down. We have so many memories. And so much more to come. She's literally my sun on my rainy days. And I've had a lot of rainy days recently. But she brightens them up whenever I tell her that I need her. I hope she knows how much I love her. And how much she means to me. I know that we will be friends forever. Till the world ends.(; She's so beautiful. She's so positive. She's just. The perfect friend.<3

Life. It's worth living for.

2011-06-05T16:17:00.000-07:00

Everybody cries. Everybody laughs. Everybody makes bad decisions. But its not normal when you cry because you're ashamed of yourself.. Or when you're not happy enough to ever laugh. Or when you hate your life because of the decisions that you've made. I was like this. I use to hate myself. Hate my life. Hate everything. Because I felt so alone. I felt like no one was ever there for me. Like I had no friends. I still feel like this sometimes. Sometimes, I don't like the way I look or I feel like I'm all alone. I have to pretend I'm this ray of sunshine at school. I pretend. To be happy. Truth is, I hate my life sometimes, too. Because I made bad decisions. I lost the people I cared most about. I have scars on my left arm. And a heart engraved on my left leg. I'm better then I use to be. Because I know, now, that I'm not the only one like this. I'm not alone. There are so many people that are just like me. That have gone through the same loss, pain, and tears that I have. But I know that it gets better. That's why I haven't lost hope. Or given up. Because I know that everything happens for a reason. And everything I've gone through, has just made me stronger. I have no regrets. And I'm still healing from when I was broken. I know that it will take a lot of time to heal. But eventually, things will look up. And you have to realize, that there really are people here for you. Even if it doesn't seem like it. Sometimes, you have to go through the worst of pain to be truly happy. No one said it would be easy. So be strong because you belong. We all need a reason to believe<3.

Cats. I Love. Cats.

2011-06-05T12:11:00.000-07:00

"Time Spent With Cats Is Never Wasted." (:

My Role Model.

2011-06-05T11:55:00.000-07:00

Marilyn Monroe. She's my role model. She's such a beautiful person inside and out. And I learn so many things about life from her. She's just...amazing.(:

"I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so that you will eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes, good things fall apart so better things fall together." <3

Losing The Person You Loved The Most.

2011-06-04T22:51:00.000-07:00

Losing someone is always hard. Sometimes it's harder then other times. Sometimes it's easier then other times. In my case, it was much, much harder. I lost my best friend. No. She wasn't my best friend. She was my sister. She was my other half. The one who I went to when I was about to breakdown crying. She was the one who made me laugh the hardest on my bad days. She stuck up for me when anyone talked crap about me. And she was always there for me when I needed someone to talk to. Now, she's the reason I breakdown crying. I have no more laughs on my bad days. She's the one who talks crap about me. But the one thing that's still the same, is that she's still here for me when I need someone to talk to. I know that it seems like why would I go to her if I needed someone, when she's the reason why I cry most of the time? But it's because we had such a sisterly bond. We said we were going to be by each others side no matter what happened. We always said forever & always. But I made one simple mistake. And that's all it took for her to decide she was done with me. My mistake was a promise that I broke. I promised her I wouldn't do any type of drug. But I went behind her back and broke that promise. And I wasn't the one to tell her that, either. Which probably hurt her the most. We got into the worst fight I had ever had with anyone. It was the most painful experience. To have to go thru the loss of my best friend. It still hurts to this day. But we don't hate each other. We talk. Sometimes. Just to say hi. It hurts to look at her. Because I knew her like no one else knew her. And now it's like we don't know each other at all. She taught me how to be strong. She taught me how to be happy. She taught me how pressing a blade to my skin every night wasn't the only way of dealing with my pain. And I thank her so much for that. I'm so thankful she was a part of my life. She was such a good friend to me. And I'm sad that I lost her. Sometimes I cry because I miss her. And sometimes I laugh because it's so stupid how we aren't friends because of one dumb decision. I don't know if she really even cares about losing me. But this is just how I feel. She'll always be my sister in my heart. Because once a sister, always a sister. And nothing can change that. I don't regret what happened between us. Because everything happens for a reason. So obviously this was meant to happen. And who knows, maybe someday we'll be friends again when we're older and more mature. But then again, maybe not. I love her. I miss her. I need her. Sometimes. I hope she stays strong, as she taught me to. I will never forget the memories<3.

One Word: Boys.

2011-06-03T20:28:00.000-07:00

Oh my. This is going to be a long blog(; Hahaha. Oh boy. Or should I say oh boys? Every. One of you. Girls. Is beautiful. Don't let ANYONE tell you wrong. I don't care what anyone else says. You're all so beautiful in so many ways. Being imperfect is perfect. To me. I hate the word perfect. Because no one is perfect. We're all human. We all make mistakes. Sometimes we make a mistake. Involving a boy.. Maybe he ends up breaking your heart. But you thought he was your one and only...your soul mate. He was your best friend. Your other half. Am I right? This has probably happened to many of you girls out there, along with me. But you aren't alone. I had to go thru this, too. And believe me, I know it's hard. So hard. To go thru the stress, heartbreak, and tears that these boys bring us. At one point I was just so sad and depressed because me and my ex weren't together that I vowed never to date again. That was in January. But now I'm so much stronger. I've dated other guys. And when I look at him, I feel nothing anymore. At first, whenever I looked at him, I felt like I was about to cry. It's such a sad feeling. I hated it so much. And I know that it feels like you'll always feel this way. That you'll 'never be the same without him,' but this isn't true. Trust me<3. It just takes some time. Time to heal. And time to find yourself. Heartbreak can completely tear you apart. You might fall. But you have so many people that love you. And so many people will be there to catch you when you fall. You might feel alone in your head, but in reality you're surrounded by amazing people who care. So much. About you. Just think: every time you or your boyfriend/girlfriend break up, you're one step closer to finding that one. They taught you some sort of lesson. They made you stronger. For some people, it takes time. For others it doesn't. But everyone has their perfect match. You just have to wait until he/she comes along.(: Stay strong. Don't be afraid. Be yourself. I know how hard it can be. But don't worry. We're in it together<3.

She's My Material Girl.[;

2011-06-03T19:19:00.000-07:00

Everyone needs a friend. Or a bestfriend. Today, I'm going to tell you all how important Courtney is to me. She's more then a bestfriend. She's my sister. She means the world to me. You really have to earn your way up to being sisters with someone. You really do. And she did. She's the one I go to, when I need advice. The one that catches me when I start to fall. Courtney, if you're reading this, I just want to tell you how thankful I am to have you. You've helped me thru everything this year. All the crap that's happened. We've gone thru SO much. It's unbelievable. There are so many memories. And inside jokes that we have. You were the only person I could go to when no one else was there for me. And you've been a true friend. And that's really hard to find. I love you so much(: You're my Ompa Lumpa. (inside joke<3) Hahaha. And you are freaaaking beautiful.(: I know that even when we fight, we're still sisters. You keep me grounded. You keep me whole. I'm so lucky to have you in my life. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life, trust meehh.(: Thanks for all the memories. Thanks for all the laughs and the cries. Thanks for everything. You kept me strong. You kept me happy. You're my soul sister.<3 Forever and always. My material gurrrl.(;

Welcome to my blog(:

2011-05-31T16:54:00.000-07:00

Well. This is my first blog! I'm really excited. This blog will mainly be about who i really am, my advice to you, goals in life, the things i value, and alot about boys</3. Can't live with them, can't live without them right? We'll talk more about that later.(; This blog is how I express myself. How I'm going to deal with the hurt, pain, anger, sadness, & all the other emotions that I feel. It's better then what I use to do with dealing with the pain. </3

So what i really want to say is, thank you. To all of my friends, and to you guys that read my blog because it means alot.(:

Here's one of my favorite quotes to get started;
"You're beautiful.
Everyone is beautiful in their own way.
The person who created the word 'ugly' was pathetic.
...People can't be ugly.
Their personalities can be ugly.
The things they say can be ugly.
War is ugly.
Hate is ugly.
But you aren't.
You're beautiful." <33.